Author: Christina V

Motherhood:

On By Christina VIn MOMMYLeave a comment

The weight, the expectations, and the part some people just don’t understand.

Being a new mom is hard. It’s dirty, it’s bags under your eyes, it’s wearing a gigantic diaper for a week, it’s sore nipples, it’s not knowing what the hell you’re doing. It’s walking out of the hospital with a new human thinking WTF, it’s trying to get your stroller open but you still don’t know how to work it. It’s never seeing friends, it’s seeing your partner but not exactly having quality time.

It doesn’t matter if you had an unplanned vs planned pregnancy, or if being pregnant is all you ever wanted, tried so hard and it finally happened. Being pregnant, giving birth, and having a child are all amazing experiences, but something I wish I would have known more about is the challenges and changes that a new mom faces. Not that this would deterred me from having a child, but at least I would have not set such crazy expectations and would have known that I wasn’t the only one feeling this way.

At first you will be on a high. Giving birth is an insane experience, your excited to meet the little one, family and friends are around, you get to use all your new things that you spent the year researching. It really hit me after a few days, once we were settled at home. You quickly realize your life has changed. You are no longer just you anymore, you are responsible for a little human 24 hours a day 7 days a week.

Overwhelmed, sore, sleep deprived, are just a few words that describe how you will feel the first few weeks or months in some cases. And yet this is what is expected from you:

  • Have family and friends visit – be sure to offer coffee
  • Look cute and put together – Instagram says so
  • Be fully functioning even though you woke up 5 times last time – its part of your job now
  • Love your new life as a mom – smile & be happy
  • Battle with feelings of depression and anxiety – but don’t let anyone know
  • Accept the changes in your life – because you signed up for this
  • Be ok that your social life is crumbling before your eyes

I’ll stop here because my list goes on and on…but you get the point. I really did try to be the perfect host, mom, wife, and tried to maintain my pre baby lifestyle, and for me I truly believe this was one of the causes of my postpartum depression.

The weight of being a new mom is extreme and in my opinion the support to help us just isn’t there. I can’t even tell you the numbers of times I found myself crying for no real reason. If you say you’re not enjoying it, you’re a bad mom, if you feel depressed, people judge you. Social media makes being a new mom seem glamorous and almost easy, and I caution you not to fall into this trap. It’s not glamorous, it’s complete opposite, and it’s a full time job. Yes I can get my shit together to take cute instagrammable photos, but most of the time I look like I just rolled out of a barn, hair in bun, track pants on, and likely have some type of food on my clothes.

As moms, we are expected to accept all these changes and carry on with with our lives like normal. The job as a mom is physically, mentally and emotionally exhausting. If you take anything from this post, I want you to know that it’s OK to not be OK. The more we can share and talk about these feelings the better off we will all be. There is no need to shame someone or judge someone. Each mom deals with things her own way, and yes there are some moms who have it easier than others. Let’s just be there to support each other and have each other’s backs along the way, we are in this together.

I want to thank my girls, my best friends and my lifelines.(Chrystal, Jaci, Allie) I wouldn’t have been able to get through the first year without you and I am so glad we were able to share this wonderful yet insane journey together. I was so fortunate to be pregnant with you girls and have our sons all born around the same time. And to my mom, I love you. She was there for me every step of the way and even helped deliver Jr. During my hardest moments my mom was there to lift me up. I would not have been able to do it without you, you are my rock.

    Capturing the Moment

    On By Christina VIn Self CareLeave a comment

    One thing I truly love about social media is the capacity it has to bring people together and to meet individuals who share the same passions as I do. Through instagram, I had the privilege of meeting Maria Buda who is such a beautiful soul. Maria is a photographer and her company is called Buda Photo. Her work is amazing and it is clear she truly loves what she does. Maria is a kind, patient, and genuine person and I can not thank her enough for capturing so many great moments. http://www.budaphoto.com

    In this day and age, we are always on our phones taking pictures that get stored away and maybe never even printed. I really love having photos that tell a story and that are not always planned and thought out. Here are some of the moments Maria captured for us. The first shoot we did was of myself, unplanned but the pictures turned out great. The second shoot was in my home with my family.

    • Mariabudaphoto

    I try to make every experience in my life a learning experience. Through this experience I realized that we are constantly on our phones taking pictures, but most the time those pictures have no deep meaning or story. We spend our time taking photos that never get printed and that end up staying on a phone or computer. I am so happy we had the opportunity to do this shoot together, these moments are the moments that are real and true to who I am and who my family is.

    thenakedmama

    My Skincare Routine

    On By Christina VIn Beauty, FEMMELeave a comment

    Your skin is your bodies largest external organ so if you haven’t been taking care of it the way you should, now is the time to start. Since I was young I always had problem skin. From acne to annoying blackheads, its never been easy. Now as I am in my mid thirties, I find my skin gets really dry and flakey, and lets face it, these long winters don’t help.

    This post is not sponsored by any of the brands, I just wanted to share my finds on some amazing products that have done great things for my skin. I use a few brands because I have fallen in love with different products from each.

    AlumierMD has a variety of products: cleansers, exfoliants, moisturizers , sunscreens, you name it they have it. I recently switched to this brand and I am loving my results. My skin was feeling very dry and dehydrated and with the moisturizer and serum my skin has never felt and looked better. I use the Ultimate Boost Serum and HydraLight Moisturizer . Both these products are light weight and are extremely gentle on the skin.

    Eminence is another amazing brand that I have been using for years. Eminence is organic and all of the products smell amazing. Eminence has amazing face masks. If you have a breakout and need a quick fix or you want to have the perfect glow, here are two face masks that I use on the regular. Strawberry Rhubarb will give you a soft feel and glowing skin, and Clear Skin Probiotic will make your skin literally tingle with excitement and clear up any unwanted friends.

    Love your skin! When people see you its the first thing they see. Oh and don’t forget to drink lots of water, your skin needs hydration from the inside too.

    My Breastfeeding Confession

    On By Christina VIn MOMMY, uncategorizedLeave a comment

    So here is my confession, I only breastfed my son for one month and then called it quits. For the longest time I felt ashamed about admitting it when people asked. I used to cringe when someone would say “so are you breastfeeding”? And I still get somewhat awkward now when people ask me how long I breastfeed for.  

    Is this really a confession? A confession would mean that I did something wrong. For the longest time I did feel this way, but now I am ok with my decision and know it was the best thing for me.  I decided that if I am going to be open and honest for my readers and support moms, I need to be honest about this topic and discuss my beliefs on it. So here we go.

    Prior to giving birth to my son I didn’t have much thought around breastfeeding. I guess I just assumed it was expected. I packed my nipple cream and off we went to the hospital. In that crazy and amazing moment after giving birth, all I can remember was the nurse coming towards me with my son and pushing my sons head on my nipple. I was so caught off guard. In that moment I felt a sense of confusion. I was confused because no one actually asked me if I was breastfeeding. What if I wasn’t planning on breastfeeding? Why wasn’t the option to give formula offered? Yes, my plan was to breastfeed but I did not like how it was forced upon me in that moment.

    My son ate like a champ the first night and I produced milk very fast.  That night my nipples got the workout of a lifetime. While my nurse was teaching me the different breastfeeding techniques, I told her that I was thinking of breastfeeding and offering formula so he would get used of both, you should have seen the way she looked at me. She made me feel so ashamed for suggesting formula and basically said that it was my job as a mom to breastfeed.

    So why did I only breastfeed for one month? I overproduced milk and no matter how much my son ate and how much I pumped I was in severe pain all the time. My son ate non-stop and I was pumping which caused more milk to be produced. For a month my breasts were rock hard, you couldn’t even fit a pin between them. My chest was burning hot and I couldn’t lift my arms to put a shirt on. I also developed a condition called mastitis. I really did try to keep going but the breast pain was so severe. I was feeling emotional, feeling disconnecting from my son, suffering from some postpartum depression, and felt lost.

    During my first few months as a new mom, my own mother was my rock. She was by my side in the labour room where she literally helped me give birth and she continues to guide and support me as I raise my son. I remember a specific moment when she looked at me and said, “I think you should stop breastfeeding”. She could see I was suffering and it was affecting me physically, mentally and emotionally. All I needed was for my mom to give me her advice and that is when I decided to stop breastfeeding. My doctor also supported my decision to stop and reassured me that the formula that is made today provides excellent nutrition.

    Did I feel ashamed at first? Of course. Family and friends would ask why I stopped and some even tried to convince me to keep going. I felt like I wasn’t a good mom, like I was letting people down, and that I wasn’t strong. I found myself, like I think we all do, comparing myself to others. When I saw other women enjoying breastfeeding I felt guilty because it was never really something I enjoyed.

    Over the past year I have learned so much about myself and one thing that I truly believe is being allowed to make choices and decisions without being made to feel ashamed or guilty. The expectations surrounding breastfeeding puts an enormous amount of pressure on a new mom, especially first- time moms like myself. I am not denying that breastfeeding is beneficial and let’s face it it’s a hell of a lot cheaper, all I am saying is that it may not be for everyone.  My hope is that new and expecting moms will read this and know that sometimes things don’t work out as planned and that everyone has the right to decide what they feel is best for their body. If you decide not to breastfeed or if it doesn’t work out for you, find comfort in knowing that it is ok and you are not alone.

    Spring Into Self-care

    On By Christina VIn uncategorized, WellnessLeave a comment

    Spring is here and it’s time to start spring cleaning, decluttering, and getting rid of all things that are unnecessary in our lives. In order for everything in your life to be balanced, you need to start with self-love and self-care.

    Self-care sounds like an easy task right? Well the truth is that so many of us are busy taking care of everyone else that we forget about ourselves. Washing your hair and making it out the front door is NOT self-care. Does this type of day sound familiar: Wake up, still feel tired, throw yourself together (mom bun is easiest), get your little one ready, out the door for daycare, rush to work, work all day, pick up, make dinner, try to spend time with your little one, bath and bed, and prepare for the next day. Then when the weekend comes, you try to squeeze in as much as you can while cleaning and trying to organize your life. This is the average day for the majority of working moms and it is beyond exhausting. With the craziness of life we forget about taking care of ourselves. Self-care is for everyone and everyone should be doing it.

    Self-care has definitely changed my life and I can honestly say it has made me a different person. In the past few months I have implemented some changes in my life that I am excited to share with you all and I hope you can add these to your daily routine too. S

    How self-care changed my life – My top 6 self-care tips

    1.Lose the negativity – this is my number ONE. For years I have been hanging on to negative energies all around me without even realizing it. You know those types of relationships were you are the one always putting in the effort and trying to keep it going – end them. If you have people in your life that you can’t be yourself around – get rid of them. This was HUGE for me. Until I started really paying attention to the energy I felt around people, I wasn’t noticing that some of my so called “friendships” were toxic and that I was putting in so much energy when the other side wasn’t. Once I started eliminating this from my life, I found I had so much more positive energy for other things and I felt less drained. Along with getting rid of negative energy, get rid of things that do not make you happy. Items, clothes, whatever it is, you will feel such a sense of relief when you start letting things go.

    How I got rid of negativity – literally stopped putting in effort and trying to maintain friendships and let me tell you, what a weight off my shoulders. I also do a spring clean regularly 🙂

    2.Slow down – from my own experience and speaking with others, life becomes a mad rush. It is extremely important to take time out of the day to just sit and be with yourself. Wether it’s having a bath, journaling, watching a show, or taking a 15 minute nap, take the time to stop and slow down. This busy life we all live is not good for our stress and anxiety levels and its important to have that quite time.

    How I slow down – I take time to work on my blog, for me this is relaxing. I also make sure to face mask and have a warm bath with lavender oil at least a few times a week.

    3.Do something you love – we all have something we love to do but the excuse is always that we don’t have the time to do it. How about this, yes you do. I am not saying do everything at once because that is not realistic but pick one thing you find joy in and make it apart of your weekly routine.

    My self love activity – I take private dance classes once a week and am planning to incorporate yoga very soon.

    4.Learn to say no – this was one of the hardest tasks for me. Saying no is something most of us feel guilty about. The thought of saying no for me was something I was so uncomfortable with. I always worried about letting people down, or making someone feel bad. Learning to say no to things you don’t want to do or to things you don’t want in your life takes a lot of strength and when you can learn how to say no you will regain so much control and happiness over your life. Only say yes to things that bring positivity and value to your life.

    How I say no – this was the hardest thing to start doing for myself. I have learned how to say no to events or plans I can’t or don’t want to attend, I have learned to say no to favours that are asked where I am always the one giving. I still catch myself saying yes to things and then after realizing I should have said no, but this whole self-care, thing like anything, is a work in progress.

    5.Nails done, hair done, everything did – ya thats right go get yourself feeling good again. Take some time to love yourself and take care of yourself. Taking the time to do these little things will make you feel better and confident with yourself.

    My favourite things to do for myself – getting my hair done, monthly facials and peels, pedicures are a must. To be honest with you, I love being pampered but after having my son I stopped taking care of myself. Recently I started doing these things for myself again and it truly makes a difference in how I feel.

    6.Journaling – writing thoughts and intentions down will help guide you and set you on the path for success. Making a to do list is something most of us do but we really don’t think to make a list of the goals for our life and what we want to set out and accomplish. Writing your thoughts and intentions can help you with your goals and provide clarity to your thoughts.

    How I journal – I recently started journaling good old pen and paper style. For each month I set my intentions, what I hope happens and what goals I hope to achieve. I also journal daily. In my daily journal I write down important things that happened in the day, things that brought me happiness and positivity, and things that made me feel anxious or brought negative feelings on. This is a way for me to keep track of things I want to keep in my life and things I want to get rid of.

    Take care of yourself, love yourself, you are worth more than you know.

    Protecting Your Skin

    On By Christina VIn BeautyLeave a comment

    Something we know but are we actually doing?

    The sun is something that most of us crave. If you live in a climate that is cold for a good part of the year ( Oh Canada), you likely value those spring and summer months and want to spend lots of time outdoors. Not only does the sun provide our skin with a glow, it provides good old vitamin d and the warmth of it feels so good.

    But lets get serious, as much as we love the sun, the damage that it can do to your skin and other parts of your body is nothing to take lightly.

    Along with the UV rays from the sun, we may be causing damage to our skin from being on our computers and phones. There has been much talk lately about blue light ( HEV -high energy visible light) having the same damage on our skin as the sun.

    Recently I had a bit of scare which I posted on my instagram story. I noticed one day that my eye seemed red and was irritated. I assumed it was a broken blood vessel and I didn’t make a big deal of it. After a week it was starting to feel inflamed and I also noticed a white dot on the white of my eye. So of course I took to google (wrong thing to do – and I know this but I could not help myself) I knew something was wrong so I made an emergency appointment with my Optometrist.

    My diagnosis – Pinguecula – are non-cancerous bumps on the eyeball and typically occur on top of the middle part of the sclera — the part that’s between your eyelids and therefore is exposed to the sun…..Ultraviolet radiation from the sun is the primary cause of the development of Pingueculae.

    All I could focus on was the words UV and SUN DAMAGE. I starting feeling really guilty about all the times I did not take sun protection seriously. I usually always wear sunscreen and sunglasses but the key word here is usually. There have been times were I have not applied sunscreen or wore sunglasses, and in reality we should always be applying SPF and wearing shades even in the winter months. Lately Ive heard of so many people my age having sun damage related skin issues and it really is scary. We all have the mentality that “it wont happen to me”, but the sun is not here to play. There are many benefits that the sun provides but that shouldn’t stop us from protecting our skin, and in my case my eyes.

    Top picks for body and face sunscreen

    Amazing coverage and protection for my little one.
    My go to sunscreen. Protects, does not clog pours, and smells great.
    New find. I love this line, perfect for every day.

    I am very picky when it comes to using products on my skin. I have super sensitive skin and after trying many products these are my essentials.

    Don’t forget about your eyes

    As for eye care, sunglasses are important but you must make sure they are polarized. This is something that I just learned at my appointment. Not all sunglasses are polarized, and in most cases the high-end designer shades we all love are not the best protection for your eyes. Thankfully you can get your lenses replaced but when your shopping for your new pair always make sure to get the best protection for your eye.

    Simple habits to protect your skin

    • Apply sunscreen to your face daily even if it is cloudy
    • Ensure your sunscreen has UVA and UVB protection and its waterproof
    • Reapply at least every two hours
    • Wear hats and keep your body covered or in the shade if possible
    • Keep infants under 6 months old out of the sun
    • Make sure you are wearing you polarized sunglasses

    Having tanned skin, feeling that warmth on your body, and being outside enjoying nature are all things I live for. I love to travel and beaches are my favourite place to spend my time. But eve if its cloudy or you only think you’ll be outside for a short time, sunscreen and sunglasses need to be apart of your routine.

    Protecting my skin has been a priority but maybe one I did not take as serous as I should have. I have pledged to myself that I will continue to take better care of my skin and protect myself from the UV and I encourage everyone to do the same.

    The dreaded question, “so when are you having a baby?”

    On By Christina VIn MOMMYLeave a comment

    The second you get married it is likely that most people will start asking the most annoying question ever, “when are you having a baby?” When you are dating someone you will be ask when the engagement is, when your married you will be asked when your having a baby, and when you have a baby you will be asked when your having another. ITS NUTS PEOPLE. I know it can be a topic of conversation or you may feel that it’s the burning question to ask, but don’t.

    My husband and I tried for over a year to get pregnant. We thought we were having fertility issues, we got put on the list for IVF and it was an extremely stressful time in our lives. The last thing we wanted was people asking us was when we were going to have children, and as you can imagine, we were asked this questions ALL the time. There were times were I had to leave the room and go cry in a bathroom because the question made me feel so bothered. Eventually when all tests came back good and I had completed cycle monitoring, our issue was that I ovulated extremely late. Thankfully I was able to get pregnant but being asked this question at almost every function I attended was extremely frustrating. You don’t know what a couple is dealing with and in my opinion this question is not appropriate and can make a situation very uncomfortable.

    One of the reasons I wanted to write this post is because lately the only question people ask me now is “when are you having another baby?”. ANOTHER BABY? I feel like my son just flew out of my vagina and I am suppose to be planning another baby?. I know when family and friends ask it comes from a loving place, but Im hardly out of the infant stage with my son and when I get asked the question it makes me feel like I want to scream.

    The truth is we are not sure if we want another child but of course that is not the “ideal” answers others want to hear.

    Whatever answer I have there is always a remark. If I say I don’t want another child, we get the only child speech, If I say we are waiting, I get the we aren’t young anymore speech. My real answer wants to be… how dare you ask me that question and please keep your comments and opinions to yourself. But of course I don’t say that, but I have found some ways to avoid the answer. I was blessed to have some of my best friends have children around the same time as me and we all get bombarded with this question and feel the same about it.

    If your that person who just cant resist asking the question, here is why you should not:

    • The couple could be suffering from fertility issues and may be working through them. This will cause added stress to their already stressful situation.
    • 1 in 6 couples suffer from fertility issues.
    • The couple may already know they cant have children and this could be a really sensitive issue.
    • There may be genetic or health concerns that may make the couples decision to have children more difficult.
    • The couple may simply not want children and are happy with their current situation. There is no need to make someone feel guilty for deciding they are happy without kids.
    • Having a child is very personal and what you may think is right does not apply to everyone.

    Here are some answers I have used that I find work to shut the question down without getting into detail or getting mad and defensive:

    • Simply answer back, “great question” laugh and walk away.
    • If you are trying like I was I would answer: ” we are trying thanks for asking” I used this one all the time and it makes the other person realize they need to shut up.
    • “Ask me again in a few years” – change topic
    • Another thing I say is ” I dunno we will see”.

    We all need to remember a few things. Firstly, times have changed. The pressure for woman today is insane. We are expected to have an education, have a career, get married and have a child, raise that child and continue to maintain a career. It’s a daily balancing act and if a woman wants to focus on only on her career, amen. Sometimes we just can’t or don’t want to do it all and that is ok.

    Secondly, lets face it thing are expensive. To be able to purchase a home is almost impossible, and if you are lucky enough to have a home the reality is that expenses are high and most of us are working to pay for our things. Having a baby is expensive and the expenses just keep increasing as the baby grows. I am in the daycare stage now and let me tell you, it’s not cheap.

    Lastly, lets not forget that infertility is a huge problem. The fertility business is booming and that does not mean good things for us. Its unfortunate but its a reality of what we are dealing with.

    Let me leave you with this final point. No one actually needs one of the reasons I listed above to not want to have a child or to only have one. Children are amazing and a true blessing but they aren’t for everyone.

    Think before you ask, or how about we make everyone happy and just don’t ask at all.

    Leggings for days

    On By Christina VIn Fashion, FEMMELeave a comment

    Ladies, raise your hand if you live in your leggings like I do. Lately they are all I wear. I even try to sneak them on for dinners and events if I can 😉 A great pair of leggings is hard to find and I usually have the same issues with most, too tight, no pockets, rolling at the waste etc. But fear no more! I found the perfect pair that I actually can’t live without.

    I am obsessed with these leggings from Lulu Lemon

    These leggings/tights are from Lulu Lemon. They are called Fast and Free Tight and are $138.00. They are worth every penny, everything is PERFECT about them. The are the perfect length, they have deep pockets, they feel amazing on your skin, they are high wasted, they don’t roll, great in the wash, and make your figure look great. They come in a variety of colours and patterns, I have two black, navy blue, and a mixed colour print.

    Enjoy!

    Jr.’s Toy Space

    On By Christina VIn BABY & TODDLER, SpaceLeave a comment

    When I was pregnant I was one of those moms that thought all my baby toys and furniture would match my house and that my house would not be taken over by baby stuff. YA RIGHT, now I laugh at myself and can’t believe I even thought that was possible. Now instead of worrying about which pillows and throws will match my decor, I’m looking for toys that are coloured and stimulate my son.

    My toy space started out with a foam mat and a basket for little toys when my son was an infant. As he grew into a toddler things became a little more messy. Building blocks, balls, cars, puzzles, colouring books, crayons, books, musical toys, the list goes on. My basket did not do the trick anymore so I upgraded to a toy storage unit. I really loved this idea and used it for about six months but seeing the toys day after day just sitting in my living room started getting on my nerves. If you have a separate toy area this is a great idea, but if your house is like mine and is all open concept it might not be the best solution. The storage bin unit is from Canadian Tired and was $49.99.

    What we used to have in our living space full of toys. Loved that my son could grab what he wanted but he would also just pull al the toys out at once.

    After getting tired of that look, I decided to go with an all white storage unit that can keep all of my sons toys inside. I still use bins inside the storage unit to keep toys sorted and organized. I love the way it looks because it does match my decor and once all the toys are cleaned up it feels like I have my living space back again. I find that when my son does not see all the toys at once, he plays with a few toys at a time rather than running up and throwing all the toys he can see.

    Along with the storage unit I bought a white table and chair were my son can eat, do crafts and colour. These items are from Ikea and were very inexpensive. The storage unit was $99.00 and the table and chair was $50.00. Here is what our new space looks like

    Our new toy space 🙂 Clean and organized.

    Bed Time Essentials

    On By Christina VIn BABY & TODDLER, EssentialsLeave a comment
    Love these Johnson’s products for our bath & bed routine

    I just can’t say enough about how much I love these products from Johnsons Baby. Since my son was just born I have always used the bedtime lavender body wash and bubble bath. It smells amazing and is proven to help improve your little one sleep.

    The sensitive and dry skin head to toe line is also amazing. My son has also used this product since he was a newborn and his skin has been nothing but soft and silky. I received so many other brands at my baby shower and as gifts, but when I used those lotions on his skin he always broke out in a rash or had a skin irritation. Even the most expensive moisturizers caused skin irritation. With Johnson’s head to toe extra moisturizing baby cream his skin is always hydrated and rash free.